My daughter was born saying, "Let me do it." I jokingly ask her if she's ready for her own apartment. She's seven. Rarely does she ever ask for help. She loves to say, "No, Mama, I want to do it myself." She just automatically assumes she can figure it out. I love this trait about her. She's brave and tenacious.
She approaches new adventures the same way. A year ago, we went to an indoor water park and she walked right up the steps to her first ever water slide and took the plunge. She didn't talk about it. She didn't ask us. She didn't hesitate. Immediately she was over the moon with the new thrill and went to do it again. She tackles life like, "Let me at it."
I often watch her and silently ask, "What can I learn from her?"
For a long time I thought I would just wake up one day totally confident. It's like I thought someone would put a sign around my neck that reads: "Now Confident" and all fears would dissipate. From that point forward, I'd be a brave warrior who never hesitates in any situation. I wish someone told me long ago that actions of confidence come first, and the feelings of confidence follow.
Books and experience taught me that confidence comes from action. On the other side of the thing that makes you jittery to think about doing--that's where you collect confidence. The real trick is not to hang out too long in the anticipation of doing something that scares you. Anticipation is where fears get bigger, worries grow and people get stuck. Action crushes fear.
Now I take a note from my daughter and just step in and go. 
Sandra Bilbray is a nationally published writer, positive human, and publisher of Asheville Macaroni Kid. She lives in Asheville with her husband, twin girls and two dogs. Email Sandra at SandraB@macaronikid.com
