With a world fighting its way out of some dark times, each of us needs some hope. I know I’m hoping for brighter days ahead and a better, more peaceful world. Yet hope for the future is so abstract; it’s like saying, “I hope someone turns the lights on next week.” That doesn’t do much for the darkness you might find yourself in right now.
But without hope, we feel powerless to our circumstances and we can easily slip into depression or anxiety. As parents, we know our kids need to see hope when they look up at us. So, how can we have hope right now smack in the middle of tough times? What are the things we can do to not feel swallowed up by the impact of 2020 and show our kids positive signs?
Don’t dwell, take action. Whatever the challenge (whether it’s national, local or specific to your family), stare down the darkness and take action. Focus on what you can do. Ruminating about what’s wrong makes you feel worse. Doing something always makes you feel better. If you face a big problem and don’t readily see a good solution, brainstorm all possibilities and then act upon one thing on your list.
Find the meaning. Every difficult time also offers up something positive if we look hard enough. The murder of George Floyd led a national movement for change on systemic racism in our country. Covid led to families spending more time together. When we can’t change a terrible outcome, we can go in search of meaning.
Create happy moments with your family. Ever in the middle of a bad day and your kids suddenly snap you back to the present moment? This is the magic of childhood. Adults can tap into the pure joy of simple pleasures in the present moment. Our kids are constantly showing us how it’s done. Give yourself permission to enjoy small moments even when life has you dealing with bigger things.
Get out in nature. Research shows a strong connection between time spent in nature and reduced stress, anxiety, and depression. Check out all of the benefits here according to Harvard Health Publishing. Asheville is the ideal place to immerse yourself in nature.
Journal. Writing helps you connect to the most authentic way that you feel, and the process is cathartic, improving immune function, boosting mood, reducing stress and increasing mindfulness. Still skeptical or not sure how to start? Read this article to discover the many benefits to writing down your thoughts.
Help one person a day. See how what you do each day matters. One small act of kindness can make an impact. You can plan something or just approach your day with the intention to help and your opportunity will find you.
Take life 24 hours at a time. When you feel life flooding you, tell yourself you’re just going to do a day at a time. Picture each 24-hours in time as a blank canvas. Don’t future cast or spiral into doom or gloom. When you create a mental avalanche of “all that bad things that can happen,” psychologists call this catastrophizing. Take the blank slate of a single day and work to make it the best day it can be.
Plan something good. Hope is defined as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Help life out a little bit by planning something that makes you feel hopeful. The anticipation of fun things on your calendar can lift your spirits.
Sleep. Exercise. Eat healthy. Repeat. Healthy habits are easy to abandon when life throws hard stuff at us. We might want to overindulge in TV, food or margaritas to cope or escape. Challenging times are exactly when we need our healthiest habits the most. Healthy choices give us mental clarity. We also get a mood boost from being proud of our decisions.
A friend of mine asked, “How do we make sure 2020 isn’t a lost year?” I love that question. We might have the inclination to shut the book on this year (halfway in) and start over. It’s easier getting a do over rather than finding a glimmer of light when times are hard. Yet practicing our ability to find hope when times are tough can help us find the light in any situation life presents.
Especially in the middle of difficult times, hope is imperative. Hope pulls us forward with the anticipation of good things to come.
Sandra Bilbray is a nationally published writer, positive human, and publisher of Asheville Macaroni Kid. She lives in Asheville with her husband, twin girls and two dogs.
Email Sandra at SandraB@MacaroniKid.com
